First: I’m not sure if that’s the correct topic for my post. In case it’s wrong here I’m sorry and would ask, that a mod might move it to the right topic.
Second: My sincere apologies, that there is a wall of text following! I will try and look for some passages to shorten.
With that out of the way – to explain my problem properly, I’m afraid I have to digress a little bit first.
I am... let’s call it “socially challenged” (mainly because it sounds better then “socially inept” ;) ).
Whether you call it “extremely shy”, “social phobia” (someone hinted in that direction) or anything else doesn’t really matter.
I try to make it as short as possible: This shyness (how I hate this word) gives me trouble on a rather regularly basis.
It’s worst during the warm-up, as soon as it’s gymnastics and co, where everyone stands in a big circle.
It’s like a scenario out of a bad horror-movie at times.
I’m totally stressed then and have some “blockades” in my head, that keep me from joining in the exercises.
Sometimes everything goes really well, sometimes not so much.
The JJ teacher can handle that awesomely. Not sure how he can bear to have student like me without choking me to death and making it look like an accident, but he does ^^
The acute problem: It got worse during the last weeks.
I have no idea, how it came to that, because nothing really changed.
In JJ (which is my favorite; I started to look at HKD and Judo as supporters, to get better in JJ. Suits me just fine so far), it’s most frustrating.
The teacher tries everything, is very patient and at the same time kinda pushy when needed (it’s hard to explain. But he knows better then I do, how far he can go and push me, without actually “breaking” me. It’s fascinating and scary at the same time ;) ).
The first time it got worse then before, I know what triggered my problems: We were more people than usual and a new guy as well.
Stuff like that stresses me out. I know that. The teacher knows that. His partner knows that.
Long story short: He shouted at me couple of times, one of which was a bit louder and ended with a “or you can leave the mat”.
To be fair: He was right!
And to be even fairer: It worked.
After the rebuke I stayed on the mats, I did everything I was supposed to and we were joking a few minutes later and he was helping out as usual.
The next session went similar.
The warm-up didn’t work out at all though (two rebukes there alone). One included very loud yelling and this time ended with “if you leave now, you don’t have to come back (that day)”.
Given that I yelled at him first there (which was a first and will never ever happen again!), he was right again.
I was disrespectful from the start, so... yeah. It sucked, but he was right.
Actually I would have kicked my ass off the mat for that day and told me, that in the beginning of the next session I can come and apologize in front of everyone.
But again I stayed (which is a good thing, by the way. A few months ago chances were, that I would have left) and the rest went rather well.
Again, because it’s really important (since I make him sound like an as***e):
I like him, he likes me.
I respect and trust him and he respects me.
He’s an awesome teacher, I learned tons from him already and I am looking forward to the future. I could tell way more stories on how well I “function” around him and how he works with me, so I can make progress not only in JJ but also on a social side.
But since my problems during training seem to be getting worse I get annoyed with myself to no end.
So after that very long (very sorry for that) and boring (sorry for that as well) story, I’m curious on how other people handle moments like that (I mean, I can’t be the only one with problems like that, even if the scale might be higher then usual)?
If you’re “afraid” of doing some exercise (because you know everyone will laugh at you, despite it never happening in class so far), how do manage that?
Or is it actually such an individual problem, that hardly anyone can relate to it? Or at least has seen it in his/ her classes as well (whether regarding oneself another student doesn’t matter)?
Or to the teachers here: How do you handle people like that (and please, please don’t just say “therapy”. I’m rather functional and well all in all, just a little “different” :p )?
Or what do you expect from them, what they should do?
Before anyone goes: Talk to your teacher – I have done that already, and I will again. Actually, I talk to him rather often about these problems. Or write something down, so I don’t have to stutter for half an hour for something he can read in a minute.
He’s already been incredibly helpful (his co-teacher as well, by the way), he even assures me, that he’s helping willingly and will keep doing so.
Which is, obviously, awesome!
I’m just curious about the opinions and ideas of other people as well ^^
PS.: Sorry for any mistakes regarding the language! English isn’t my first language, so maybe you can find forgiveness in your hearts ;)
Second: My sincere apologies, that there is a wall of text following! I will try and look for some passages to shorten.
With that out of the way – to explain my problem properly, I’m afraid I have to digress a little bit first.
I am... let’s call it “socially challenged” (mainly because it sounds better then “socially inept” ;) ).
Whether you call it “extremely shy”, “social phobia” (someone hinted in that direction) or anything else doesn’t really matter.
I try to make it as short as possible: This shyness (how I hate this word) gives me trouble on a rather regularly basis.
It’s worst during the warm-up, as soon as it’s gymnastics and co, where everyone stands in a big circle.
It’s like a scenario out of a bad horror-movie at times.
I’m totally stressed then and have some “blockades” in my head, that keep me from joining in the exercises.
Sometimes everything goes really well, sometimes not so much.
The JJ teacher can handle that awesomely. Not sure how he can bear to have student like me without choking me to death and making it look like an accident, but he does ^^
The acute problem: It got worse during the last weeks.
I have no idea, how it came to that, because nothing really changed.
In JJ (which is my favorite; I started to look at HKD and Judo as supporters, to get better in JJ. Suits me just fine so far), it’s most frustrating.
The teacher tries everything, is very patient and at the same time kinda pushy when needed (it’s hard to explain. But he knows better then I do, how far he can go and push me, without actually “breaking” me. It’s fascinating and scary at the same time ;) ).
The first time it got worse then before, I know what triggered my problems: We were more people than usual and a new guy as well.
Stuff like that stresses me out. I know that. The teacher knows that. His partner knows that.
Long story short: He shouted at me couple of times, one of which was a bit louder and ended with a “or you can leave the mat”.
To be fair: He was right!
And to be even fairer: It worked.
After the rebuke I stayed on the mats, I did everything I was supposed to and we were joking a few minutes later and he was helping out as usual.
The next session went similar.
The warm-up didn’t work out at all though (two rebukes there alone). One included very loud yelling and this time ended with “if you leave now, you don’t have to come back (that day)”.
Given that I yelled at him first there (which was a first and will never ever happen again!), he was right again.
I was disrespectful from the start, so... yeah. It sucked, but he was right.
Actually I would have kicked my ass off the mat for that day and told me, that in the beginning of the next session I can come and apologize in front of everyone.
But again I stayed (which is a good thing, by the way. A few months ago chances were, that I would have left) and the rest went rather well.
Again, because it’s really important (since I make him sound like an as***e):
I like him, he likes me.
I respect and trust him and he respects me.
He’s an awesome teacher, I learned tons from him already and I am looking forward to the future. I could tell way more stories on how well I “function” around him and how he works with me, so I can make progress not only in JJ but also on a social side.
But since my problems during training seem to be getting worse I get annoyed with myself to no end.
So after that very long (very sorry for that) and boring (sorry for that as well) story, I’m curious on how other people handle moments like that (I mean, I can’t be the only one with problems like that, even if the scale might be higher then usual)?
If you’re “afraid” of doing some exercise (because you know everyone will laugh at you, despite it never happening in class so far), how do manage that?
Or is it actually such an individual problem, that hardly anyone can relate to it? Or at least has seen it in his/ her classes as well (whether regarding oneself another student doesn’t matter)?
Or to the teachers here: How do you handle people like that (and please, please don’t just say “therapy”. I’m rather functional and well all in all, just a little “different” :p )?
Or what do you expect from them, what they should do?
Before anyone goes: Talk to your teacher – I have done that already, and I will again. Actually, I talk to him rather often about these problems. Or write something down, so I don’t have to stutter for half an hour for something he can read in a minute.
He’s already been incredibly helpful (his co-teacher as well, by the way), he even assures me, that he’s helping willingly and will keep doing so.
Which is, obviously, awesome!
I’m just curious about the opinions and ideas of other people as well ^^
PS.: Sorry for any mistakes regarding the language! English isn’t my first language, so maybe you can find forgiveness in your hearts ;)
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