Long post, beware.
Had my third amateur fight few days ago, but made this thread now since I just now saw the video uploaded. The fight itself didn't bother me at all mentally, I didn't think about that much, but I still have very hard time dealing with the fact that I am in the spotlight and people are watching me. I still keep thinking about the crowd in the middle of a fight, which is a bad thing
First of all, I lost. Naturally. I lost by kimura in the second round. It didn't hurt, but my cornerman was screaming that I should tap. I hesitated for a while but then tapped. I also feel stupid as hell for going to the ground with him since I knew his victories were by submission.
This was the same hand which I had injured and ironically from the same move, That was in last year, had 2 months off from training. It was kimura, I didn't tap and it started cracking badly and loudly, referee then stepped up around 10 secs later and stopped the match. That was a submission wrestling / No-Gi bout, not an MMA fight though. And other thing which I found ironic was the fact that while I tapped to that kimura which didn't hurt, I didn't tap to that ankle lock in the beginning which actually hurt. I did my best to not show it (and if I have to give myself points for something, that would be it), and I think I succeeded. I didn't show the pain with facial expression, but for few days after the fight, walking did hurt a little.
I think my opponent's friends were bit frustrated of me for some reason
But anyways, whether it hurt or not doesn't matter, because I would've lost anyway in some way sooner or later. I dont want anyone to think I mentioned that lack of pain there as an excuse or something, I want to emphase on the fact that I would have lost anyway and I know that. It was super sloppy from me to get caught in that and the ankle lock too. I did nothing at all to stop them, I feel quite embarrassed now when I am watching the videos.
First thoughts after the match was disappointment as always. Even know I went there to lose -I knew I was gonna lose - yet it still was a major disappointment. Another feeling I am starting to have is embarrassment. And that was one of the things I wanted to talk about and ask if anyone else had any experience on...
This was my third MMA fight. My record is now 1-2, soon probably 1-3. My first MMA win should've maybe been a draw or something. Also I won my very first submission wrestling match but I have lost 3 after that. And it's not just them, but in training too.
All I feel constantly is losing and the demotivational feeling after it. In sparring, all I feel like is that I can never do anything right. Wrestling sparring is the same: no matter who I am against, I constantly get caught in certain submissions. Some of these guys have of course trained longer than I have, some just are way more skilled etc. And I dont mind losing to them, I do acknowledge that they are better than I am and I have no problem admitting it to myself. However, the problem is, the effect of constantly losing and not winning is finally starting to get me.
I have more motivation for MMA than I have other things in life. It is more important to me too, I cannot describe enough how important it is to me and my psyche. I have said this before, but I need MMA.
I have gotten used to losing pretty much at everything and I dont expect to win at anything. But finally I have something that I really cant afford myself to have that attitude because this is so important to me.
But for the first time, I have started to feel lost. I dont feel like I belong in combat sport world. I feel it at the times in training too, which bites off a piece from my motivation. Sometimes I feel like I am physically too weak, sometimes I feel like my body and I am not tough enough, especially sometimes im striking sparring. I feel like giving up; it's a battle in me, at the same time this is the only thing I care about, yet I feel like giving in, even though that I feel so against my will. I dont want to, I really dont want to feel that way, but I do. I feel helpless because somehow I feel like I am losing myself here. It's kinda funny though, few losses and I am already giving up? But I guess that is why I am asking if there are people who are having the same situation / losing constantly, I would like to hear their experiences if there are any of them here
Also, feel free to point mistakes and critique the fight, I think its important to have videos for matches / fights so you can watch them and see the mistakes you or your opponent has done and think what could've been done otherwise. I would also like to watch my submission wrestling matches and my only MMA win but those aren't on video. I think my hands should've been more up and tight, I have a bad defense. Also I need way more active grappling and I need to be little more courageous on the ground I believe. Footwork and punches need a lot of work too, but please give me feedback on what to improve
I apologize on making a big thread just about me and my fight, but I guess I hope it could also be a little thread about this whole losing thing and how much it affects us. I guess I feel confused about these feels and I am desperate to see if there are people with a similar situation. Sorry, this is a little confusing thread with big text, I am already confused myself and it is a miracle that I haven't already forgotten what I was rambling about originally..
Well, here is the video, I am the guy with ugly hair and ugly green/white shorts. If you have critique, please do it on this thread, not on that video comments :) Thanks.
First round sucked, sorry about that. I just want to have fights which crowd would enjoy but that wasn't too good.
http://ift.tt/1gDU9ee
Had my third amateur fight few days ago, but made this thread now since I just now saw the video uploaded. The fight itself didn't bother me at all mentally, I didn't think about that much, but I still have very hard time dealing with the fact that I am in the spotlight and people are watching me. I still keep thinking about the crowd in the middle of a fight, which is a bad thing
First of all, I lost. Naturally. I lost by kimura in the second round. It didn't hurt, but my cornerman was screaming that I should tap. I hesitated for a while but then tapped. I also feel stupid as hell for going to the ground with him since I knew his victories were by submission.
This was the same hand which I had injured and ironically from the same move, That was in last year, had 2 months off from training. It was kimura, I didn't tap and it started cracking badly and loudly, referee then stepped up around 10 secs later and stopped the match. That was a submission wrestling / No-Gi bout, not an MMA fight though. And other thing which I found ironic was the fact that while I tapped to that kimura which didn't hurt, I didn't tap to that ankle lock in the beginning which actually hurt. I did my best to not show it (and if I have to give myself points for something, that would be it), and I think I succeeded. I didn't show the pain with facial expression, but for few days after the fight, walking did hurt a little.
I think my opponent's friends were bit frustrated of me for some reason
But anyways, whether it hurt or not doesn't matter, because I would've lost anyway in some way sooner or later. I dont want anyone to think I mentioned that lack of pain there as an excuse or something, I want to emphase on the fact that I would have lost anyway and I know that. It was super sloppy from me to get caught in that and the ankle lock too. I did nothing at all to stop them, I feel quite embarrassed now when I am watching the videos.
First thoughts after the match was disappointment as always. Even know I went there to lose -I knew I was gonna lose - yet it still was a major disappointment. Another feeling I am starting to have is embarrassment. And that was one of the things I wanted to talk about and ask if anyone else had any experience on...
This was my third MMA fight. My record is now 1-2, soon probably 1-3. My first MMA win should've maybe been a draw or something. Also I won my very first submission wrestling match but I have lost 3 after that. And it's not just them, but in training too.
All I feel constantly is losing and the demotivational feeling after it. In sparring, all I feel like is that I can never do anything right. Wrestling sparring is the same: no matter who I am against, I constantly get caught in certain submissions. Some of these guys have of course trained longer than I have, some just are way more skilled etc. And I dont mind losing to them, I do acknowledge that they are better than I am and I have no problem admitting it to myself. However, the problem is, the effect of constantly losing and not winning is finally starting to get me.
I have more motivation for MMA than I have other things in life. It is more important to me too, I cannot describe enough how important it is to me and my psyche. I have said this before, but I need MMA.
I have gotten used to losing pretty much at everything and I dont expect to win at anything. But finally I have something that I really cant afford myself to have that attitude because this is so important to me.
But for the first time, I have started to feel lost. I dont feel like I belong in combat sport world. I feel it at the times in training too, which bites off a piece from my motivation. Sometimes I feel like I am physically too weak, sometimes I feel like my body and I am not tough enough, especially sometimes im striking sparring. I feel like giving up; it's a battle in me, at the same time this is the only thing I care about, yet I feel like giving in, even though that I feel so against my will. I dont want to, I really dont want to feel that way, but I do. I feel helpless because somehow I feel like I am losing myself here. It's kinda funny though, few losses and I am already giving up? But I guess that is why I am asking if there are people who are having the same situation / losing constantly, I would like to hear their experiences if there are any of them here
Also, feel free to point mistakes and critique the fight, I think its important to have videos for matches / fights so you can watch them and see the mistakes you or your opponent has done and think what could've been done otherwise. I would also like to watch my submission wrestling matches and my only MMA win but those aren't on video. I think my hands should've been more up and tight, I have a bad defense. Also I need way more active grappling and I need to be little more courageous on the ground I believe. Footwork and punches need a lot of work too, but please give me feedback on what to improve
I apologize on making a big thread just about me and my fight, but I guess I hope it could also be a little thread about this whole losing thing and how much it affects us. I guess I feel confused about these feels and I am desperate to see if there are people with a similar situation. Sorry, this is a little confusing thread with big text, I am already confused myself and it is a miracle that I haven't already forgotten what I was rambling about originally..
Well, here is the video, I am the guy with ugly hair and ugly green/white shorts. If you have critique, please do it on this thread, not on that video comments :) Thanks.
First round sucked, sorry about that. I just want to have fights which crowd would enjoy but that wasn't too good.
http://ift.tt/1gDU9ee
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