Religious experiance.

Well, Aaradia's mention that she practices paganism has prompted me to post here.

A couple of years ago, about 5 or there abouts. I don't remember the exact date, but it was fall, but I remember the events. Vivid as heck.

One night I was having some odd sleeping problems. Would close my eyes and it felt like I was on a edge about to fall. Felt like something inside me was rocking back and forth. Needless to say, I got no sleep that night.

So, seeing as no sleep was coming, I went to the computer and typed in my symptoms and clicked on the first website that popped up. I didn't even bother to look at the address at first, just noticed it was some kind of forum.

I don't know if I am allowed to mention other forums so I wont put the name.

So I clicked and found a discussion on this very problem, with the name of the issue. Hypnic Jerk.

As I sat there I discovered it was a pagan forum, with a bunch of various faiths there, and subforums and such. I remember being fascinated with this. Being a good Christian guy, I remember always being taught that pagans and there religions was the fast track to hell and eternal fire and pain. So it was with a strange mix of dread and fear and curiosity that I perused the boards. Learned there is a lot about them I didn't know. That they were not evil and many were just normal people trying to find the spiritual path that fit them.

Over the weeks, I spent MANY hours there reading. After a while, I found threads about Christians that left for various Paganisms, and there reasons. Many of there reasons fit with my own questions and general feeling of unease I felt. And to a degree still feel.

After a while, I had started really considering leaving Christianity for a pagan religion. Which one, I had not decided, but I was looking seriously and reading on each forum.

During this time me and the family had stopped going to church. Well one day, I remember it was the day I was seriously considering making the leap, I decided to go to church. To see if I could feel anything, any connection at all. Anything to help me decide to stay.

So before I left, I remember being very tired. Which was odd, as I had gotten a good amount of sleep. Before leaving I pounded out a Monster Ultra Silver and left for church. I remember suddenly getting very very tired. Like it was a fight just to keep my eyes open, while on the way to church. As we were in the car, I remember a voice in my head. It was in that kind of sexless whisper that is reminiscent of your own inner thought, but this felt different. I remember that voice whispering, "Don't run"

Strangely, I say it was a sexless voice, but if I had to ascribe a gender to it, I would say female. It just felt feminine.

As I got to church, the tired feeling got worse and worse. I don't remember most of the service, but the teaching, the message was prominent. I remember it being a sermon regarding walking the path of life and the path of death. What is very odd, is there was this passage from the bible about walking the path of life and path of death that he read out loud.

From that point on I remember little of the service, but it seamed as if he kept repeating that passage. Over and over and over and over and over and over again. The feeling of tiredness was overwhelming, but I forced my eyes open. Inside I felt the need to choose my path, my religion. So I chose to stay with Christianity. I remember the tired feeling passing, and another whisper, but different from the first said, "I am here."

So that is my story guys. Am I insane? What do you think of my experience. Would love to hear from Aaradia on this.

Does anyone else have a intereting religious experience to share?