Shihan relations.

On numerous threads it is said, that in order to undderstand the "True" Bujinkan teaching , you need to have a solid relationship with (one of) the Japanese shihan. Practically every mega dan out there claims to have such a relationship. My question is, how do you go about building such a relationship? Is it simply a question of showing up at their dojo with a bottle of sake in hand? ;). How do you keep the relationship? After all would you call a student that only visited your dojo once a year "your" student?